However, week two of "Dancing with the Stars" verily simmered with the sizzling sensation of forbidden fruit.
Then we got a glimpse of Nancy Grace's ni**le. Let's first analyze the smoldering sizzle of this week's jives and quicksteps.
Pictures: "Dancing with the Stars" Season 13
Partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy was styled to be John McEnroe after an extremely long night in the thrall of deleterious substances.
Judge Len Goodman thought it was "crisp, sharp like a pippin and fast moving." Carrie-Ann Inaba felt Solo definitely had the body. Would she say the same to Nancy Grace?
Kristin Cavallari dug deep. Inaba called her "stunning" and "gorgeous". David Arquette seemed haunted by the jive. In rehearsal, his partner Kym Johnson accused him of being "frantic" and lacking technique. Arquette's attempt at control consisted of keeping his mouth open throughout the dance. Inaba loved the enthusiasm, but felt he was a little too loose. The quickstep, she declared, wasn't natural. Tonioli felt her pistons were pumping. Rob Kardashian is worried about the lines described by his man boobs. During his jive it was still at times easy to mistake Kardashian for the dance floor. "You've started to blossom," shrieked Tonioli. "Your timing was excellent."
It's official," ululated Inaba. In rehearsals, he wore a knee brace. "If I held my knife and fork like you held Anna I'd starve to death," said Goodman about Kressley and his partner, Anna Trebunskaya.
Ricki Lake jiving. "There were a couple of steps that disturbed me a little bit," shivered Goodman.
"I've moved faster through the car wash," said Goodman.
"I kind of felt you played it a little safe," sniffed Inaba, correctly.
"It was polite," said Goodman, while Tonioli was desperate to see the "sexy siren." It was time for Nancy Grace. She offered a philosophical disquisition on the difference between the courtroom and the dance floor. Shockingly, she never had a partner at trial.
In rehearsal, Grace refused to show her steps alone to partner Tristan McManus. "How refreshing," said Goodman. I think he was referring to her dancing.
Tonioli couldn't resist, though. Martinez is utterly natural. In a working man's flat cap, he was perfectly in synch with partner Karina Smirnoff. Goodman declared it wasn't a jive, but a Lindy Hop.
TOP THREE: J.R. Martinez, Kristin Cavallari, Ricki Lake
BOTTOM THREE: David Arquette, Carson Kressley, Chaz Bono
Nancy Grace recently posted "proof" on Twitter that she did not suffer a wardrobe malfunction on Dancing with the Stars. But does her photo evidence really prove that the nip slip didn't happen?
Nancy recently posted this message on her Twitter page:
Evidence re my alleged 'wardrobe malfunction' which I vehemently deny: Breast Petals & industrial strength bra.
What do you think of Nancy's denial and evidence?
It was the wardrobe malfunction that had Dancing With The Stars fans all in a flutter.
'Evidence re my alleged 'wardrobe malfunction' which I vehemently deny: Breast Petals & industrial strength bra,' she wrote in an accompanying caption.
'Breast petals and an industrial strength bra...plus a sewn-in corset. Nancy's dance partner Tristan MacManus says that he was completely unaware of the malfunction.
Last night it appeared that the legal broadcaster suffered an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction when her dress slipped down mid way through her energetic quickstep with Tristan, revealing a little too much of her chest area.
'On the European version that would be perfectly fine,' joked host Tom Bergeron, while judge Bruno Tonioli told Nancy that her performance was 'a bit top heavy at times.'
'We have taken every precaution known to men in this dress right here,' Nancy added.
'I'm talking industrial size precaution.
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