Open Question: why do i get jealous over the stupidest things?
my friend asked me to hangout today i said i couldnt so she hungout w/ my boyfriend and this wh-ore that likes my boyfirend.. he didnt ask me if i wanted to hangout and they had so much fun while i stayd home with my period being worried about how i hav to go back to counselling soon.. he also said he was annoyed @ me because i told someone something i appparently wasnt supposed to say (he said hes kinda over it though) he also said hes sorry we didnt hangout today.. am i being crazy about this for no reason.. i just feeel like shit all the time like everyone is always better than me at everything and that i cant dry over things because i dont deserve to because my lifes not bad enough for me to feel bad for myself.. i think the only reason i'm so self-pitying is because i'm on my period but most the time i feel the same about these things just not AS sad and upset about them.. i also feel like i dont deserve a boyfriend b/c there arent any good qualities about me.. i'm jealous, not generous, ugly, dumb and i just dont see why ppl like me so much i literally only have 2 friends and everyone else hates me.. i tried cutting myself but i stopped b/c i dont feel like my lifes bad enough that i deserve that either.. i never really thought ii hated myself but at this piont i cant even stand seeing my name anymore.. i ALWAYS feel like shit and i feel like deaths too good for me i cant stand any of my qualities.. my appearance, my voice.. none of it.. i really wanna talk to someone asap please can someone just talk to me on facebook or youtube or something?? ( my youtube is emoxfroggy and facebook is http://www.facebook.com/search/?init=srp&sfxp=&q=i%20wanna%20die%20right%20now#!/profile.php?id= ) i spilled my guts to a school counsellor and all she said was 'promise me u wont hurt yourself this weekend'' and ''we need to get you help'' i told her how i was molested once and almost had it happen again.. i feel like i'm not normal like how every 14 yr had maybe 1 or 2 sexual experiences i had over 8 (2 w/ adults and the rest were kids).. it was nver my idea but i NEVER said 'no' .. i wont say anymore about that crap but i just wanna feel better about myself.. i dont feel proud about even one thing i did.. everything i say oor do i regret later.. i'm only happy when i'm alone and on my mp3 player i think about suicide everyday yet i will NEVER do it because i'm scared and it wont be worth it b/c as i said i regret everything (either i'd end up in hell or my soul would just dissappear or sumthing) i feel like evryone hates me and i dont telll ppl how i feel because i dont really see how it helps except like cutting or crying, for a second you feel better .. srry this is so long.. i'm online until about 3:00 so message me on youtube or facebook NOT on yahoo i have over 1,000 unread messages and i'm not going through hell to look for a message (sorry if that came out rude )
Open Question: why do i get jealous over the stupidest things? posted by Maulana Ibrahim @ 9:00 PM