Open Question: what is the best thing to do in this sistuation?

i know its a long story but bare with me. Im 18 years old and im in love with this amazing girl. and we went out for a little over a year. then we broke up because of my boarder line personality disorder.(BPD) i also have ADHD i take Aderall. and it stabilizes my mood for a while and then i go back to getting agitated, angry, and emotionally abusive to my loved ones. but since ive been on it. ive gotten a lot better!! she was getting closer to me and she loved me just as she did when we started dating. but it got really bad tonight..i was on the couch with her and then she told me to move and that adjetated me. so we picked on each other untill i she cries and i still mad its not like me at all. im soooo sweet caring and loving. and she says so untill i do this to her, i havent been professionaly diagnosed with it but ive researched it and there is no doubt in my mind that thats what i have..but what do i do? take the aderall again and see what happens? plus im staying with her and her family i consider them my family, because my family is emotionally abusive..and they gang up on me all at once and i started acting just like they would...she toldme she never wants me to come over ever where do i go?? back home? where it all happend in the first place. i recently turned 18 so i dont know much legaly what i can do? please help! im not a bad person i just want help